pandemic

I’ve tried them numerous times and put bluntly, they’re not for me and nor can I see myself on one ever again. Although they can be fun for some, dating apps can be debilitating and sometimes even a thick skin can prove difficult to uphold.

I’ve had it all!

THE CATFISH

Yes, that’s right. Men can be cat fishes too! I never thought I’d see the day when men started filtering and airbrushing their photos. Granted, women are the experts at this, but come on! It begs the question though, why would you filter a photo so much that it ultimately looks nothing like you? It’s embarrassing for both parties involved. I’d be mortified if I met with someone and they didn’t recognise me!

THE AWFUL CHAT UP LINES

Here are a few I’ve been sent, for your amusement – they get better as you go along..

‘Solid match, got my attention. What’s we saying?!!’

‘Hey Belle! you have the same name as my mates last name.. we call him Bellend!’. Bit late on that one, been called bellend or bellenda numerous times before.

‘Lonely Friday in lockdown? I’m a sharing pics kind of guy if you are? Always best to be honest.. ‘

‘Don’t really like Easter eggs but I’d enjoy unwrapping and nibbling on you.’ Received this one over Easter weekend – 10/10 for effort!!

‘As your name means beauty, can I be your beast?’ Had this one a few times and a few different versions referencing a beast in some way!

‘Are you into cuckolding?’ I had to Google this one, you may have to as well

And last but not least ..

‘Let’s play a game .. 2 truths and a lie; I’ve played for Chelsea. I’ve travelled around Asia. I have a 9 inch cock’ I obviously said the 3rd statement was a lie.

Apparently I was wrong. Silly me!

THE PREDATORS

These are the guys who start talking to you like absolute gents and then a day into what you think is a very civilised conversation, start questioning your sexual desires, or use the old school line of ‘what are you wearing?’. Funnily enough it’s a Wednesday night and I’m sitting here in some, quite frankly, unattractive baggy pyjamas. Most likely resembling an umpa lumpa after applying fake tan in preparation for the upcoming weekend. BUT, I’ll just pretend I’m sitting here in silky lingerie like a sex goddess, shall I?

THE ONE WITH ALZHEIMER’S

These guys send same witty paragraph to every match and then embarrassingly forget you’ve matched with them previously, resulting in them sending you the same spiel all over again!

THE PEN PAL

We’ve all been there, guys and girls! You could be chatting to someone for weeks and no matter how many hints are made, a date never happens.

And finally …

THE UN-MATCHERS/GHOSTERS

Both are just as bad (ghosting may be slightly worse!). You need to be super resilient for these ones. You can say the slightest thing wrong and be unmatched within seconds or just never spoken to again. These ones, I’ll struggle to ever understand and find it quite cruel that people can be so judgemental very quickly. Either that, or very fickle once they think they’ve found someone better. It’s a cruel dating world!

For anyone thinking about venturing onto these apps, here’s a few tips from me:

⁃ try not to put your heart on your sleeve

⁃ never explicitly trust a profile, as people can be majorly different in real life (personality included)

⁃ Don’t be disheartened by an unmatch or rejection. Quite simply, you won’t be everyone’s type

⁃ Be true yourself and upfront about what you’re looking for

Overall, I think these apps have made us lazy. It’s so easy to swipe left/right based on someone’s aesthetics and everyone seems to just be scrolling for the next best thing, rather than actually giving someone they like a decent chance. Furthermore, people are so quick to run away at the slightest hurdle these days and everyone is looking for perfection – it doesn’t exist!

Regardless of my very pessimistic view, I know these apps have worked for many. One of my best friends met the love of her life on tinder! So, there is hope .. Good luck to all in finding ‘the one’. You deserve to be happy and to be loved for being you, no exceptions.

What is a dream?

“A dream is a succession of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations that usually occur involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep “(Wikipedia).

Why do we dream?

“The most honest answer is that we do not yet know the function or functions of dreaming. This ignorance should not be surprising because despite many theories we still do not fully understand the purpose of sleep, nor do we know the functions of REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, which is when most dreaming occurs. And these two biological states are much easier to study scientifically than the somewhat elusive phenomenon of dreaming” (Ernest Hartmann, a professor of psychiatry at Tufts University School of Medicine and the director of the Sleep Disorders Center at Newton Wellesley Hospital in Boston).

Why are our dreams more vivid during the COVID-19 pandemic?

A couple of days ago I had a dream which was so vivid I woke up upset and confused about how I felt. It wasn’t the first time I had experienced this in the last month since lock-down. After some research, I realised I am not alone. A small Instagram poll whereby I asked if anyone was experiencing the same concluded that more than 85% of people were in the same boat. Vivid dreams can be experienced when someone has sleeping issues that cause a lack of sleep, such as insomnia, changes to your sleep schedule, or getting less sleep than usual. So, it’s no surprise that people are suffering considering their ‘normal’ day-to-day lives have completely changed.

So…what do our dreams mean?

Dreams about an ex
Don’t panic! This does not necessarily mean you are still pining after your ex partner (unless you do genuinely want to rekindle with them!). It could be that your current partner or someone particular in your life brings out similar feelings to those you had with your ex – whatever that feeling may be. It’s not necessarily a bad feeling and it’s not always a bad dream. If you are single, it can also mean you miss feeling wanted and the feeling of being in a relationship.

Dreams where your partner is cheating on you
Firstly, these dreams can naturally occur to anyone who has actually been cheated on. Remember, dreams are also made up of our memories. Now you are with someone new, it’s not surprising that this could mean you are insecure and worried deep down that your current partner will do the same. On a more pessimistic note, it can also mean you are suspecting something is wrong in the relationship, or that they have already betrayed your trust in some way.

Dreams where you are the cheater
This type of dream can suggest that you have already done something that compromises the integrity of the relationship, or that you feel guilty for something, which would entail betrayal in some way.

Dreams involving water
Any dreams involving water are reflective of your deepest subconscious thoughts. If you are drowning in your dream, it can mean that your emotions are all over the place. Has something drastic happened in your life recently? It usually symbolises overwhelming change. However, if you are dreaming of walking on water it can mean that you just need to understand your inner emotions a little better, alongside the fear of perhaps ‘going under’ with your emotions too.

Dreams where you are falling
This seems to be quite a common theme for our dreams, regardless of whether we are in the middle of a pandemic! These types of dreams usually suggest that you are feeling out of control in some way – something we are all feeling right now. They can also mean you are currently having thoughts that you think you are failure, or even inferior to someone else.

Dreams where you are being chased
These dreams can depict you are running away from something, or avoiding someone in the real world. It is a way of your subconscious telling you that you should confront this issue/person.

Dreams about animals
Different animals symbolise different things. I have chosen the animals which I hear about the most:
Apes/Gorillas – Can symbolise victory in your personal life – something you have really fought for. On the other hand it can also mean trouble with false friends/business partners.
Bears – Bears can symbolise growth, strength, power and independence.However, if a bear is attacking you in your dream this can denote uncontrolled aggression/anger and this could be yours or someone else’s emotions.
Bees – Bees in dreams are a good thing as they can symbolise hard work, good luck and happiness. However, if you should dream that you are being stung by a bee/bees, this suggests you feel you have been wronged by someone.
Snakes – Dreams about snakes can be both positive and negative. On the one hand it can symbolise healing, rebirth and regeneration. On the other it can indicate something in your life is toxic and you are fearful/running away from it.
Sharks – A shark in your dream can represent someone in your life who is draining you emotionally and in a negative way. It can depict someone who’s actions are harmful, yet they do not care about the consequences.

All of the above is based on online research and merely my way of compiling different types of common dreams and their meanings in once place.
If you are suffering with insomnia, here are some basic tips for a better nights sleep:

Tag: pandemic

The dire (although amusing) dating app diaries