“A season of loneliness and isolation is when the caterpillar gets its wings. Remember that next time you feel alone.” — Mandy Hale
2020 – what a year it’s been so far. There is no point in listing all the things that have happened, because right now the main subject on everyone’s agenda is, of course, the dreaded COVID-19. The knife in everyone’s back and the reason half the nation is going stir crazy.
So, let’s start with the obvious. Isolation is not fun. Most of you (if you are following the rules) will not have seen family or friends for almost a month now and are isolating with the members of your household only. However, what about those who have no-one to isolate with? Those that are perhaps single, divorced, widowed, children have left home, spouses are key workers and aren’t around at normal times of the day etc. Personally, I fall into the single category and I can assure you that isolating alone is anything but exciting.
My job is very social and I interact with different people daily, so this is a huge shock to the system. I would be lying if I said I hadn’t found these last few weeks a struggle and the thought that this may last another two months fills me with dread; another month stuck within four walls and no physical interaction. I also would be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous of those isolating with their spouses. Sure, they probably annoy them sometimes and this is a huge test being constantly in each others pockets, but who doesn’t like a cuddle on the sofa and just the general company of someone always being there? Someone you can totally be yourself and slob around with (don’t pretend you are getting dolled up every day and don’t deny you are practically living in lounge suits and pyjamas these days!).
Many singletons may also be on dating websites, but I can’t help but feel that dating at this moment in time must also feel a little odd. First dates are now via video call and I do still think that’s great, but how can you gauge if you have chemistry with someone over a screen? There’s only a certain amount of times/hours you can talk to someone before meeting them properly – what if you run out of things to say by the time we are out of lock-down? I also can’t help assuming that there is a crowd of people who are now only using these sites due to pure boredom until this is all over, so having to sift through those individuals and find someone who genuinely wants to date is just tiresome.
However, I had a conversation with a close friend recently who has a completely contrasting view. They are active on ‘Hinge’ and they have actually found comfort in keeping connected with others by seeing it as a ‘non committal’ opportunity to speak to the opposite sex, whilst finding comfort in the fact there are others in the same position. So, I guess, this is very much each to their own and down to what makes you happy. I’m not saying you shouldn’t try, but for me personally, it’s not something I will be participating in, which just highlights again that there isn’t anyone around.
If I was to think more positively about this, I could say that it’s great – you get your own space, no distractions, can watch whatever you want on television and can navigate your way through the day however you want to, but if I could have someone else there whilst doing so, I know that’s the option I would chose.
Now I’ve finished writing negatively (I promise, no more self pity), I have put together a little self-help guide of what to think about/things to do if you are in a similar position.
What to do?
1. Firstly and foremost, appreciate how lucky you are. Most of us are not essential/key workers. We have the ability to ‘WFH’, sip cocktails along the way, enjoy the sun (when we have it) and not run the risk of contracting this virus by constantly being around infected people. Also, we have so many forms of technology these days it’s so easy to keep in contact with friends and family. Imagine if we didn’t have these luxuries?
2. Following on from the above, use this time to reconnect with people. Maybe there is an old friend you haven’t spoken to in years? Family who live abroad whom you rarely catch up with? Or a even just a close friend you rarely get the time to have an in depth conversation with? This probably wont happen again in our lifetime, so make the most of it.
3. Use this as a time to self-heal and reflect. Ok, so you are on your own. There is nothing wrong with that. You could come out of this a stronger person, so see the positive side and be proud that you have endured this alone.
4. If you can, stay in a routine. For example, if you are remote working, wake up at your usual time, maybe do an online workout as if you were going to the gym, or just do your usual morning routine, whatever it is. If you have a video call with colleagues then dress yourself into some kind of decent clothing (even if its just the top half!), do your hair and if you can be bothered, apply a little make-up! You’re still working so embrace it like you usually would.
5. Go for a walk. I can’t tell you how therapeutic it is just to walk and listen to some chilled music. It enables you to just zone out and not think about anything else for a little while. I have recently discovered a love for American country music and bands like the Rolling Stones, which I NEVER thought I would enjoy as much.
6. Try a new hobbie, or revisit an old one. Painting, colouring, sewing, learning a new language, writing, baking – there are numerous things you can do.
7. Try not to overthink negative situations. This is something I can be guilty of every day, but if you had other distractions, would you really think this deeply into a situation? Will this matter in a year’s time? Probably not.
8. Have a pamper day, or just a day when you do your hair, make up and anything else like your normal average day. Have a video call with friends and have a drink with them.
9. Lastly, don’t be too hard on yourself if there are days you literally do nothing at all. I have seen so many posts on social media that insinuate you are lazy if you don’t come out of this with a new skill!?! This is a pandemic. Not a productivity contest.
bellesthoughts.com 